and then simply turned away.
For i was confused with who i was.
For all the pain i saw within myself
all the heartache hidden concealed secretly
disguised in happiness, overridden with wrecklessness
who have i become?
where have i gone?
who am i really?
so tired and exhausted with these thoughts
i find myself pushing away the emotions
i feel myself holding back the tears
i try my hardest to rid any of these thoughts
to fill my days with distractions
and yet i'm always left alone, trapped
trapped within these walls,
these four walls that control me
hold me in and hold me down
these walls that do nothing but choke me
i feel like i'm dying inside.
my being, my soul, my life.
i've experience physical near death
but this mental experience is much more deadly i feel.
will i get over this
or i fear is this a never ending cycle
shall i resent myself for the rest of my life
and live with this regret holding me back
or will i simply rise in the morning
and feel nothing
and start all over again
what is this that is happening to me
what is this that i feel
for i am broken
and only you know that
but only God does what is done to those who can handle it
and only those who are burdened are the most blessed.
Lord forgive me. for i have strayed far from you, and myself.
No comments:
Post a Comment